Friday, 10 July 2009

Being Queer Is So Limiting

There seems to be a completely unnecessary split in the gay rights movement. One side, lead by Stonewall and other "mainstream" people, see the ultimate end as complete integration into the current status quo (minus a few important rights like marriage) whilst others, based on a rather limited and strange reading of queer theory, seem desperate to preserve homosexuality in a semi legal state just for shits and giggles. What do I mean by that? I mean they want homosexuals to be the rebellious, sex hungry stereotypes of the early eighties. It's a form of nostalgia really; they want to put gay people in a conservation scheme where nothing ever changes. "Save Our Fags" or some such thing.

It's quite sad so many people can be placed in one of those two camps. Not all, thankfully, but a large minority. Personally I place myself in an even more endangered minority: the reformers. We want to rebel against the status quo, against gender roles, against the prudes and the moralisers who seek to stop people living their lives how they wish to. But we don't want to live in a state of constant rebellion. We want achievements. And not just for gay people but for everyone. A "No Straight Person Left Behind" sort of scheme. True freedom for everyone. But we also want to foster respect and hope. We don't want to stick two fingers up at society and act like teenage ruffians. We want people to live how they wish to live. If they want to marry, live in monogamy and raise a happy family . So be it. If they want to fuck as many people as they can great (as long as they don't go messing around in our public spaces cruising). If they wish to marry several different people and stay married to them at the same time, go for it. Etc. etc. etc. We need a balance between respecting each others way of life and living how we want to. Is that too much to ask? Am I really a traitor to my sexuality because I don't want to ghettoise but want a better future for all humanity? It's a utopian vision, a naive utopian vision, but it's far better a thing to work towards than demanding all GLBT people act in one way and all straight people act in another which is what some of the "queer" folks out there want.

I'm here and I'm truly "queer", the real queer theory posits that we cannot be categorised at all for we are all unique individuals. That is something those demanding conformity to stereotypes in the name of queer seem to forget.

Sorry for the brain dump and the rant but I really needed to splurge that all out.

This blogger works for nothing but the joy of writing but always appreciates things bought from his wishlist


Alan said...

Yes, I don't want to accept someone else's status quo. Equally I don't want to define their status quo as being wrong for them.
I'd love to be able to walk into any bar holding hands with my boyfriend. Then gay bars would not need to exist.
I want all couples to be able to decide whether they want their relationship to be called marriage, partnership, monogamy, polygamy or whatever. But not to abuse others for making differenct choices.
I want the freedom to choose how I want to behave and I want to give others that same freedom. Provided one person's behaviour does not impact negatively on others.
I want everyone to be able to be who they are provided they respect the ability of others to choose a different lifestyle to the one they have chosen.
I do think that both Stonewall and Outrage have played their part in getting us partly there. I am frustrated that we have not made more progress. And grateful to those who, often courageously, pushed the boundaries to allow me to start from a better base.
I want to be able to be unique, but not defined by the label that others put on that uniqueness.

Jae said...

Exactly, well said!!

Antony said...

I agree, we should be all allowed to live freely, living the life style that we want to (wheather thats getting married or having loads of sex with many different men).

I think we all need to start thinking of people as PEOPLE. Not about their sexuality, life style, race, disability, general look or what ever.

My mum always said "treat others as you wish to be treated yourself". Truer words have never been said. I try and treat everyone with out judgment, equally and fairly. And I would like the same off government, society and people as individuals.

That's me given my two pence worth lol.


A x

tstreasures said...

Couldn't agree more. The beauty of the world is that we are all NOT the same in our thoughts and opinions.

Jason said...


Anonymous said...

hi... just dropping by!

Anonymous said...

hi.. just dropping by here... have a nice day!