Saturday, 4 May 2013

Why I Might Seem To Be Obsessed By My Sexuality

My obsessions come around on such a regular basis and have such a cyclic nature that I can almost mark them down on a calender.

Among the topics that crop up are dinosaurs, Mormonism, Scientology, Star Wars, Doctor Who and comics. Pretty much all over them occur at a low level most of the time but one will flare up here and there and consume most of my time for a while (right now I'm coming down from a very intense obsession with Mormon history, to the point of reading decades old BYU dissertations and editing Wikipedia entries).

Yes I'm gay and I write about LGBT issues (mainly equal marriage) on here and Twitter which seems to mean I'm "obsessed" with my sexuality (or "sexuality" in general) .It's a bit of a weird statement to make to a man in a monogamous relationship, who isn't on the scene, doesn't buy gay mags (that is Attitude and Gay Times before any of you dirty minded people make assumptions!) and doesn't even see his gay mates much at all. And the idea I'm some nympho who spends all day obsessing over sex is as far from the truth as can be possible. I spend most of my day wondering whether Joseph Smith knew he was lying or really believed he was a prophet of God (I'm erring on the side of a little of both).

That isn't to say I wasn't once obsessed with my sexuality. I used to be out on the scene, into cruising, regularly at Pride, bought every gay mag there was and was just generally fabulous. Even just a couple of years ago I was part of an LGBT grouping at my job. But as I've grown older and settled down with Jim I've mellowed. Now the practicalities of life, and the rights I have, are mainly what concern me. Hence my focus on things like marriage equality.

And that focus is only on Twitter and here. Sure I write letters and bug relevant people IRL too but I think sometimes people assume what I choose to focus on in certain outlets is what I am completely focussed on everywhere. I use Twitter mainly as a place to be political and thus it will contain an overwealming percentage of tweets about LGBT issues. This doesn't mean I'm obsessed with my sexuality. It means that it has I choose to use Twitter.

And the whole idea my sexuality shouldn't be something I'm concerned about strikes me as a bit bizarre. It doesn't matter how quiet you are about who you love, eventually you'll have to face some sort of annoying and unwelcome intervention or reminder of your difference.

Item: A couple of years before I met Jim my then boyfriend and I had stones throw at us for daring to hold hands in public.

Item: Every time we check into a hotel we face the usual "Are you sure you want a double room?" question from the reception. And it is not likely we don't have to be concerned we might be refused one. It has famously happened before!

Item: Jim used to get concerned about me buying GT because of what might happen to me if the wrong people saw me carrying it in the street.

So of course my freedom to just live my life with Jim and ensure our life together is protected ranks up there on my list of worries. When some people suggest it shouldn't I just wonder how they feel about their other halves and family. Aren't they the one thing that is important above all else? We still have people in this country not only calling for people like Jim and I to break up but actively working to get into power to make sure it happens. I'm not going to sit back and say "Oh well".

I'm the boy who has had a "Has it happens" Google Alert for Jurassic Park IV since 2005. If you think I'm obsessed by my sexuality, then you can't possibly comprehend how much more I'm obsessed with other things!

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