Tosspott Wants More Compensation For A Bank Error

Some guy, Donald Moffat, found his bank balance had humourously gone nearly £100bn into the red. It took him a morning to fix the problem and the bank offered him £10.00 compensation for his time.

But this arsehole was unhappy with this situation. He felt that he was more important than that, and decided to try and greedily blackmail the bank into offering more compensation by emailing his bank statement to the BBC.

He also said he was looking for the bank to up its offer of compensation for the level of stress he had been put under in trying to resolve the situation.

He doesn't even know what stress is!!! People live in this world under bombardment by armed militias, suffering from life threatening conditions and living without regular food or water. Many of them would kill someone for £10.00. But oh no this selfish git isn't satisfied with that and has decided he deserves compensation for his time (a morning! Jesus, he obviously hasn't ever dealt with a bank before, normally it takes them days! I suspect he must of been really rude to those poor service agents who had to deal with this bastard to get this quick a response).

Greed. It's a sin. I hope he has a terrible new year.

The Case For Involuntary Euthanasia Grows

Yes, it's time for more silly 999 calls!! For my American reader that's stupid 911 calls.

From a recent release from the Greater Manchester Police:

· A priest rang 999 because he was in WH Smiths at Manchester airport and the staff wouldn't let him use their toilet
· A man rang 999 and said that he had asked the shop assistant at the pizza shop not to put mushrooms on his pizza and he had put mushrooms on it
· A woman called 999 to say that she was unable to get through to Strictly Come Dancing to vote for Tom Chambers in the final
· A man rang 999 to ask what his mobile number was because he knew it would appear on the call handler’s computer screen

Linda Lusardi, a former Emmerdale actress, proves these calls aren't just from the medically authenticated mentally challenged but that they are also caused by plain STUPID people. She phoned 999 because she was late for her panto!! What sort of an idiot thinks being late for a panto qualifies as an emergency or as a reason to request use of the hard shoulder???

Remember, we must be ever vigilant for these sorts of folks otherwise your grandchildren might end up sharing a few stupid genes with them. Point them out now and make sure only the equally idiotic would ever mate with these wastes of space.